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January 13, 2004

Worries and fears...

A week ago we realized we hadn't heard from our neighbors, the Racetracks, in a while.

Everything is ok but the situation really highlights that terrible feeling you have when you don't hear from someone that is expecting a baby for a while. It is only made worse when you know that they are having some complications.

"Are they ok?"
"I wonder if the baby is alright?"
"Oh God. It's been two weeks since we called."

I finally broke down and called one of their cell phones. Turns out the flu had zapped them. All is well. They are still on target to beat us by a week. (Damn them.)

Everytime FB is sick I ask the stupid question "Can I help?" out loud knowing full well that I'm just sort of along for this 9 month ride. There isn't a thing that I can do but stand there and try to be supportive.

So what does that leave? I can hold her hair while she is throwing up. I can give her a hug when she starts crying for no reason. I can brush her hair at night when she can't sleep. I do the laundry, the dishes and take the trash out before the smell sends her running from the kitchen. I do all of this and yet it all seems so small in the face of watching her suffer and bear the burden of the pregnancy.


I told a friend of mine in Seattle a couple of months ago that love is putting anothers needs ahead of yours for no other reason than you know it's the thing you have to do. Having that feeling and not being able to truly act on it may be the most damning fate a man can have.

Posted by Jim at January 13, 2004 11:34 PM


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