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June 21, 2004

"I guess I was sleepy"

I got home from work last night to find Fabulous Babe passed out on the couch. I walked her upstairs and tucked her into the bed so she would be more comfortable then left to run errands and when I came back she was still asleep. She slept for over 2 and a half hours and when she finally came down pontificated:

I guess I was sleepy.

"Really?" *rolls eyes*

I forgot to mention that we now have permission from FBs dad to proceed with having the baby: Im through spraying the corn! You can go ahead! (Hes lobbying for junior to arrive on his birthday.) I cant tell you how glad we are to have received the final go orders.

FBs workplace has not shortage of jokes about her condition. At Mammoth Dairy Co-Op of the Midwest there is no end to the wits with a daily good line or two at her expense. Little do they realize that FB will have the last and best laugh of all: 10 weeks of maternity time off. Im looking forward to seeing how long they can go before they ring her cell phone or send an email. Perhaps I should set up a pool.

The highlight of our night was watching Antiques Roadshow on the television. Like all good closet Roadshow fans we delight in the misery and triumph of the attendees.

Attendee #1: Im a serious collector of porcelain. I paid a good price for this when I saw it. We keep it on our dining room table. Its decorated in such a unique fashion. Im not 100% sure of what it is. Can you help me?

Snooty Boston Appraiser: Its a 19th century bedpan. Its worthless and, I might add, filthy.

Attendee #2: I bought this table at a garage sale for $15. I thought it looked nice and shiny. My dog fits under it real well.

Flabbergasted Boston Appraiser: You have a handmade table from the missing Amber Room of the Czar. These authentication marks prove it and this picture from before the revolution features this table. If you look carefully you can see the bite marks from the princess Anastasia whose dental records I fetched during the break. Its worth is hard to guess it's worth but I can tell you that after some discreet phone calls the Russian government has authorized me to offer you $18 million dollars for it. I think I shall faint!

Attendee #2: I suppose I better buy some coasters.

Posted by Jim at June 21, 2004 10:14 PM