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August 08, 2007

"You know it's bad when your local McDonalds staff ask you if you're ok."

Well I'm back in Minnesota. I started back on Sunday and got back Monday night. Lots of time to think and try to sort things out in my head.

I tried to tell a friend of mine that it's like losing one of your parents but it doesn't really seem to be the right phrase. A lot of the emotions are colliding off of each other in some sick parody of the old Atari game "Asteroids". (A game Granddaddy bought me the day it came out for my 2600. He was so proud of having found it and getting it for me.) I know I am grieving but it's hard.

In some ways I can feel myself closing up. My usual "talk to strangers / run for office" sort of personality lends itself to covering up my emotions pretty well but now I'm not even trying. The local McDonalds staff were actually concerned enough to ask me what my name was so they could ask if I was ok. When they go from calling you "Large Coke, Sausage Biscuit guy" to "Jim" thats probably a warning sign.

It's worse since I got back. Nothing seems normal anymore. I just keep looking around at stuff I've lugged around the world for 25+ years and all I can think is that I don't want Jack to have to sort through it. (Or God forbid my grandson or granddaughter.) I'm tempted to try selling it but then part of me just wants to throw it away.


Posted by Jim at August 8, 2007 09:45 PM


I can tell in your posts that you're really hurting.. I really hope that you can start to feel better soon.. Talking to all of us I hope is therapeutic..

Posted by: Joell at August 12, 2007 04:45 PM

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