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July 18, 2004

Saturday Morning

Saturday morning I took Jack with me on a Bank, Target, and Post Office run. He slept the entire time which I expected. (I was ready with the emergency diapers and wipes though.) He met with rave reviews and accolades which is gratefully accepted but a little weird when you’re not used to that sort of thing.

The most repeated line I hear is “He’s cute. Really! I’m not just saying that!” which is sort of funny after the first few times. I have since learned that C-section means that the baby avoids some of that “Run under a bus” look that the normal route can inflict. (Cone head, clamp marks, etc.) I’m really at a loss when people say how cute he is. I’m grateful but it was all Fabulous Babe’s work, not mine.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m certainly glad he isn’t “stop a clock” ugly because I can only imagine what the compliments would be like. “Quite the career in the circus sideshow industry for little Jack isn’t there!” or “Which asylum are you shipping him off to at the first opportunity?” The old standby, “I suppose you’ll be keeping him in the attic and feeding him nothing but fishheads,” is my personal favorite.

The Wells Fargo Ladies had a number of saucy comments about his big hands and big feet but this isn’t that sort of webpage. They claimed he was the perfect end to “the longest pregnancy ever” which gives you an idea of how much I am willing to talk to people.

In Target I was ambushed in the pharma aisle by three women who descended on him cooing and gushing. (“How old? 10 days! Oh my gosh!”) I have to admit I was tempted to use a stun gun on the one that started to pull his blanket back. As it was I just shifted the cart away before she made contact and said I had to hurry.

The Post Office, “Now with 100% less Tear Gas!”, was pretty empty which gave me a chance to set him up on the counter and spend a couple of minutes demonstrating how he could sleep through my babbling pride. Again a great success.

This Father / Son Saturday Morning could be a regular thing.

Posted by Jim at July 18, 2004 10:28 PM